The Tough Decision to Leave Rep Hockey

I love being a hockey mom, but last year was our first year in competitive rep hockey and it was also our last.

We met some wonderful friends but we also saw the political side of hockey. We saw Jayden challenged to try his best, but we also saw our son’s spirit and love of hockey deeply affected by a coach. Paul and I worked hard for the team by putting in hours and hours of our own volunteer time and loved helping manage the team, getting fundraising dollars and having some fun extra events planned, but was it really appreciated? And what about the cost vs. the development we got for our son. We spent over $3000 to register for rep hockey without even considering the added equipment and travel costs and felt that he really never learned so many of the fundamentals of hockey. The time commitment is another issue. We spent most weeknights and weekends in the rink at the expense of homework and family dinners, in addition to the hours spent behind the scenes for the team. So, was it all worth it? We did get caught up in the fun of rep hockey culture and prestige too, but what was Jayden really getting out of the experience? And what were we getting out of it as his parents?

When it came to try out time this past spring, we had a heart to heart with our player (#15). Did he have fun last year? Did he want to try out for rep again? What was it that he really loved about hockey?

We learned that it was less about the competition and more about just having fun and making new friends. Yes, he loved the gear and the attitude that came with it, but he actually didn’t mention either when we were deciding what to do for the upcoming fall season. Yes, he would miss his old friends but he knew he’d make new friends on any team he played for. We made the tough decision to try out for one higher level rep team that had a coach we thought would be great for Jayden, but when he didn’t make that team, we walked away from the rep program altogether and decided to register for the Local League ($700!). We decided together, that it was time to focus on less stress, less of a time and financial commitment and just have some fun!

We aren’t the only ones spending a fortune on programs for our kids. According to a recent TD survey, four in ten (40 per cent) Canadian parents with children under 18 years old spend $1,000 or more on extracurricular activities per child during the school year and 51 per cent of them find budgeting for these activities stressful.

Yes, of course it’s stressful. Both choosing the right fit for your child and the financial obligations. I find this process totally overwhelming, but I took away some great tips from TD at a recent event on how to budget, reduce costs and focus on fun this fall. Here is some advice I learned:

  • Have a “back to school” program budget. Track your expenses and stick to the target. Use this as a teachable moment for the kids to understand that they may only be able to choose two activities and not three this year, in order to stick to the budget (we have had this discussion with our boys).
  • Putting $10 a week into a savings account throughout the school year, can help create your extracurricular program budget for next year!
  • Think of the costs beyond the actual registration cost when making your decisions e.g. travel costs, your time away from work, equipment, runs to the drive thru when dinner is on the run, competitions, tournaments, etc.
  • Ask your child what programs he or she would like to do this year and hold them accountable. Take this as an opportunity to share the importance of making decisions and sticking to the commitment of attending each session.
  • Kids don’t need to be over-scheduled to thrive. Plan to have several nights off from weekly activities to allow time for free play (it’s FREE), homework, family time and time for play dates!
  • Register before the “early bird” prices go up to save some money on kids’ sports and recreation programs.
  • Instead of toys and other birthday gifts your child might not need, consider asking family and friends for gift cards to get the dance costumes or sports equipment your child needs.
  • Measure the R.O.E of all programs before signing your child back up each year – the “Return On Enjoyment” should be the guiding factor when registering your child for any activity or sport. Ask yourself…Is your child enjoying it? Are you, as their parent?
  • Ask around for who has deals on programs or coupon codes. You may have some connections to save on registration fees!
  • “Try and buy” a new sport or activity with your child by taking a few free classes first or signing up through the less expensive municipal programs before registering for a full year commitment.

I think I’ve really learned more about my child and what’s best for our family over this past year in rep hockey. I’m excited to save a bit of money, have more fun and cheer with my cow bell for my favourite little number 15!

Disclaimer: I was invited to a very informative event with TD on tips for saving for the fall programs. This post has been sponsored by TD, but all opinions are my own.

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