Zack’s room was the place where he and I would rock the night away. The place where I tried to get a few minutes of sleep between humming the Elmo song, during his 2am episodes.It’s the place where he would sit in his bouncing chair and get his meds and his gtube feed each night […] Read more…
To my beautiful Zackie, Another year without you on your birthday. You would have been 5 today. The memories are just as heartbreaking, my Zackie, even though this is the second birthday without you. I feel the bittersweetness of planning a special party for your twin brother, while I still feel your absence today and always.I wrapped special toys and gifts for Jayden […] Read more…
On Saturday we planned a family day at Wonderland…it was a rare day that Paul wasn’t working and we were all looking forward to a great day together. We had even talked the boys into going on their FIRST roller coaster! We packed our bags, hid our snacks in the backpack, spritzed with sunscreen and […] Read more…
(I haven’t been able to write the very last day in two years, but this year, I really wanted to preserve the memories. I want those horrible and painful hours to live here on the pages, and not in my head or on my shoulders. The truth is that those days seemed like weeks and they […] Read more…
Zack loved the boat! at Nana and Poppa’s My parents arrived just after midnight and were escorted in a golf cart through security and customs- thanks to my sister. They told me later, that when they saw the cart for them- they thought that they were too late, that Zack had died. They both […] Read more…
It was just after midnight, the doors opened and a Anesthesia doctor, Brian Kavanagh, appeared- a man I had never met before, but will never forget. He calmly walked over and asked us to sit down, while he sat on the table in front of us (the photo shows the table and blue bench where we sat- […] Read more…
The day started out with my update to everyone…. “We have been up since 2am with a fever and trouble breathing. He is working really hard and even with 3 ventolin masks, there was no improvement and audible wheeze. He was desating on the oxygen level at 30%. We raised it to 100%. They called […] Read more…
One of the hardest days was this day. I was losing hope and decline in Zack’s overall demeanor was so scary. He closed his eyes for 90% of the day and literally had no energy to even sit up anymore. When I would play Elmo DVDs, we wouldn’t even open his eyes to watch his favourite […] Read more…
Facebook post from that day: Damn! Flu plus a lung infection- my little trooper is so sick. Now on nasal prongs for oxygen full time plus fever when meds wear off. Hoping to see an improvement on new antibiotics. Keep praying that we can all be together again. We learned that Zack’s second xray showed […] Read more…
We had been up since 3am. Zack had needed oxygen through the night, his saturation levels were dipping and he needed it to help him breathe. We would alternate between just oxygen blowing by his face, to the mask on him. He looked so weak and I tried my best to just put my arms around him and […] Read more…