Live, Love, Laugh and Learn

I learned that my boys look at me with the same love that Zackie did. I’m not sure that I had really realized this before, but my boys give me the same smile and the same loving eyes that Zack used to give me. Perhaps it felt stronger because Zack couldn’t talk and a look was his ONLY way to communicate…or maybe the deepth of his need for me made it different. It might even be that Zack’s light is now shining in his brothers. During this trip, there were so many moments with Ty and Jayden when I could see how much my boys love me. Each day the boys would have a competition; “first one to touch mommy gets to snuggle with her“! When the winner was announced, that would set the sleeping arrangements for the night. We alternated nights sleeping with our restless kids and spent our nights pulling arms and legs off of us so that we could actually get some rest! We loved the daily discussion and sometimes debates as to whose turn it was to sleep with which parent. As the trip went on and we bought more and more stuffed toys, the space got even smaller!

I learned that while we will always be a family of 5, the 4 of us can get even closer than ever and bond in a new way. We took Zack’s photo and placed it on the dresser of every hotel room, to not only remember, but to feel like he was with us. While it doesn’t take a photo to feel close to him, it brought comfort to all of us. Ty even had a greatest idea to bring the “DREAM” rock from Zack’s grave in the car on our journey…as if to “collect” the memories and bring it back to him. Several signs were around us with stores called “Zackary’s Smile”, books with his name on it and Elmos everywhere we went. We travelled as a family of 4 and it was really sweet to spend time with Jayden and Ty alone. While Ty and Paul would brave the waterslides, Jayden and I would float around the lazy river talking about everything and nothing. We really listened to our boys…their interests, worries and dreams.

I loved learning that the 4 year gap between our boys is narrowing and they are starting to really enjoy each other’s company in a new way. I’m not sure if it was the fact that they only had each other, whether everyone was just on great behaviour or whether the relationship is really changing between Ty and Jayden, but some of the best moments of our two weeks were just watching our two boys interact. Ty would wake up each morning and ask Jayden “where’s my morning hug?”. Jayden developed a love of all things ‘Pokemon’ and ‘Phineas and Ferb’ just so that he has something in common with his big brother. The boys would hold hands, play together in the pool, watch out for each other and even help each other get dressed. We watched with tremendous pride, as our two sons became closer than ever.

I learned that my kids are freaking hilarious! We got to be silly with them and really enjoy their unique and very different senses of humour. The jokes on the trip are still making us laugh now that we have settled back into reality. If it wasn’t Ty rapping Justin Bieber songs or singing the Phineas and Ferb intro, it was Jayden’s crazy southern accents “I need a cuppa Joe!” We laughed for the whole ride from Pittsburgh to D.C. just on “Dick’s” jokes (Paul bought some new balls at Dick’s- LOL). The kids loved to make up all things relating to bathrooms and butts, we found out that “Chuck Norris” is the answer to any question and that Daddy loves the boys like a “fresh veggie-table” (play this fun song below!)!