This is a BIG birthday for me in April and I have to say that the turning of the new year has meant that it is that much closer to being a reality.
I’m not sure if the number means much to me or what it represents… isn’t 40 the decade when you have your shit together? Isn’t it the time in your life, when you are comfortable in your own skin and confident in who you are?
I know I don’t FEEL 40….but I also don’t feel 20 either!
As I approach this milestone, I’m forced to think about what I really want to accomplish before I enter this next decade, the next phase of my life.
One BIG issue that remains with me is my weight and health. It has been an issue my whole life and I have to admit that I’m just tired. Tired of using the stress of Zack’s birth, the stress of his death, the stress of life as an excuse to eat like crap and to put ME on the bottom of the list! I’m tired of hating getting dressed, tired of being so self-conscious everywhere I go, tired of looking back at old photos and missing that “me”, tired of having tons of fabulous clothes I can’t wear, tired of having less energy and tired of not looking on the outside, the way I feel inside!
I’ve said it before and now I’ll say it again, I need to lose 40lbs to really feel great again in my own skin. To feel the way I was meant to be. Not skinny, but a healthier, happier me!
So, I’m feeling better and stronger now- I have a fabulous job that I love, a family I adore, friends who make me laugh, and I’ve stopped taking antidepressants that I have been on since our twins were 4 months old. I’m back on Weight Watchers and I have started to feel the results already (I lost over 4lbs in week 1). My new motivation is my 40th birthday in April and the promise of wearing a bathing suit I feel good in, on my family birthday trip down south!
So, wish me luck, talk me away from the junk food and remind me that I’m worth it!
Bubbie Bonnie
January 12, 2013 at 6:54 pm (11 years ago)Having watched you grow up from a beautiful teenager, to Kath’s roommate at UWO, to Kath’s bff I have no doubt at all you will conquer this final frontier. You have accomplished and overcome so much in your life Heather, this will be a cakewalk (pardon the food analogy). xxoo
Mommy Moment
January 12, 2013 at 7:50 pm (11 years ago)Gorgeous Heather, you will be able to wear that bathing suit and feel great in it because you have already won the real battle. You see, you said you already feel the way you want on the inside. I also want to lose 40 pounds, not to “look” a certain way, as I know I am a beautiful woman…I want to lose the weight to have more energy, be able to sleep better and be able to live a long, healthy life with my incredible family. So I commit myself to be a support to you on this journey. We can do it! We are smart, we are beautiful and we are important!! (I just started a Google+ community just to be a place of encouragement…if you are interested, let me know so I can get you the link. Cheers, I’m so glad you wrote this post!
Kath
January 12, 2013 at 9:11 pm (11 years ago)I believe in you my friend and am here for you every single step of the way!! You are beautiful inside and out and I know you have the strength and determination to succeed at this new goal. Can’t wait to celebrate our big 4 0 together! XO
BLOOM - Parenting Kids With Disabilities
January 12, 2013 at 11:00 pm (11 years ago)HI Heather — Sorry to disappoint, but I’m turning 49 and I don’t think I’ll ever have my shit together! (Entirely!) But — I am more comfortable in my own skin. That said, I eat compulsively and would love to find other ways to deal with stress.
So I’m looking forward to hearing about your new journey. Hugs to you! xo
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Elise Ondet
January 14, 2013 at 9:01 pm (11 years ago)I’ve kind of abandoned the idea of losing the extra pounds and hips width I’ve gained with the kids. This is me, Elise, mother of 2, having carried 2 babies and thus having a round tummy and saggy bum 🙂
I am working on accepting that instead of always wishing to be better and being always hard on myself.